This is Your Friendly Reminder: It's OK to Not Feel Well
Recently, I wrote about ‘Finding Joy in Solitude’— and although I whole-heartedly agree with the advice I shared on being OK with being alone— sometimes, even our own wisdom can’t assuage us from feeling like shit and I think that’s just as important to share. So much of our twenty-first century existence is spun up in ‘showing’ others that we’re happy, healthy, normal, thriving that we forget that melancholy is also a rational emotional response to our increasingly tumultuous world. We can’t always be ‘on’— no matter how desperately we want to be.
They say ‘when you know better, you do better,” but I don’t think that’s always the case— especially when your mindset is manic in the moment. Especially when you work independently or are building something on your own; when everything counts on you and you just don’t feel well. It’s not only exhausting, but it’s also scary— how are you supposed to get through the day, let alone flourish, when it seems you can barely function?
Like many people, the fall and winter months are increasingly difficult for me— my mood is definitely seasonally affected, and by this time, every year, even with spring right around the corner, some days, I feel completely dejected and useless. I’ll sleep ten or eleven hours a night, yet wake up completely exhausted the next morning— if I didn’t make myself get out of bed, I’m sure that some days I might not. During these experiences, my motivation for work and self-care can be practically nonexistent.
Usually, finding gratitude in small things works to help me reset myself to a positive headspace—I try to be mindful and thoughtful of my accomplishments— but this time of year, it truly just makes it all worse— because I believe that I should make the most of my abundant good fortune, yet in the moment, everything seems meaningless and unimportant; devolving the situation into grander chaos.
It’s also difficult too, our minds being as tricky as they are, to process that at the very same time, there are people you know; friends you are close to, everyday acquaintances, even the most-assured influencers you follow, go through the same self-sabotage and misery. Our brains, however, tell us that we, solely, are the problem— and so does our self-selected social feeds. A glutton for punishment, my bad mood thrives on assuring myself that everyone else is living up to his or her true potential— I’m the only one that’s broken.
I don’t have any remarkable closing to this—no flash bang of wisdom to blow you away with at the end of a super sullen post. I just want to let you know that you’re not alone. You’re not what your mind says about you on your bad days. You are powerful, you are strong, you've got this; miraculously made it through every single day of your life so far. And even if breathing is the only thing that you accomplish today, you’re blessed and lucky.